Forced child marriage survivor condemns Iraq’s new marriage law

“I was a doll in the middle of songs and laughter—laughter that was not mine, words of celebration that did not belong to me”, Shams Ali* recalls. At 13, she was forced into marriage with a man of 29. Even at that age, she was aware she was losing her rights. Her aunts, afraid to relive their own trauma, refused to help. Shams’s pleas fell on deaf ears. Her parents beat and threated her with death.

Shams’s story echoes through Iraq today. Earlier this year, the country passed a new law that allows marriages for girls as young as nine. A loophole already allowed fathers to consent to marriages outside court. This new law risks forced child marriage becoming even more entrenched.

Love confused with survival

In the early days, Shams hated her husband. She hated the wedding dress, the makeup that ran with her tears, even her first kiss. She blamed her developed body, which looked older than her age. Yet, compared to the beatings and threats from her parents, he seemed merciful. He showed her gifts, affection, attention.

His affection blurred the lines. She began to believe what she felt was love, even when he denied her university education. But it was not. It was trauma, confusion, and survival. Writing for the Guardian, she shared:

When he left, I hated him. When my family turned cruel, I loved him. It was too much confusion for a girl my age.

After three and a half years, they separated because of disagreements between his family and hers. Once the bond dissolved, she was able to see clearly that what she thought was love was the exploitation of a young girl’s vulnerability and the law.

From silence to voice

Now she calls herself a survivor, no longer bound by guilt or shame. She is speaking out against Iraq’s new law, warning that it will condemn many other girls to the same fate she endured. She wrote:

Passing such a law means nothing but legitimizing violence and entrenching control over the bodies of women and girls, turning childhood into a marriage contract instead of a time for safety and growth.

Take action against Iraq’s marriage law

Today, one in five young women aged 20 to 24 years were married as children versus nearly one in four 10 years ago—at this rate it will take 300 years to eradicate child marriage. Now, Iraq’s new law threatens the very little hope girls like Shams cling to.

On International Women’s Day in 2014, countless women attended demonstrations in Baghdad to protest a law that would abolish a minimum age of marriage, and result in a life of domestic and sexual slavery for many girls. They called it the Day of Mourning. Advocates sent 645,157 messages in protest of this law, including 95,035 Freedom United supporters. The law was not voted on before the 2014 election. Freedom United celebrated this at the time, but progress is slipping away for girls in Iraq today.

Governments must act to abolish laws that put children at risk of forced child marriage. No child should be turned into a “doll in the middle of songs.” Join us in calling for an end to child marriage everywhere.

*Name has been changed to protect her identity.